#1: We certainly are not to deny whatever we cannot account for. This, I cannot deny.
SIRS And MADAMS,
It has fallen upon me in perponderance of Strange and Unusual circumstance that I find myself here; it is very strange indeed. I am confident that the encident happened sometime on the eve of May the 2nd, 1826, as I rode my horse along the way to the house of Arthur Spicer Brockenbrough, to settle some debts and finance. Along the side of the road, a strange event in all my life I never before witnessed & Surely I indeed took notice. A fine silver booth grabbed me and I was here, far away, in a confusing place.
I awoke a man much younger, by 30 years or more; It took me a week to record the events as they had Happened in my personal ledger, as I surely thought I was dead, if not dead then in Purgatory, or amongst the world outside that of the living. Instead, as my colleague explained to me, I was in the year 2003. Nearly 200 years did pass in my absense, being an old man of the world who enquired to know more, I asked him the nature of these Strange events, and I include his explanation.
Me: "What? Who are you? Satan and his wastes begone!"
Daniel: "Chill out man, I don't know what to do. If those labcoats figured out I fucked up the whole space-time continuum by pulling out a major historical figure, they're gonna be SO pissed. I can't get fired! I'm just a janitor! They pay me a shitload of money. But please, I can't get fired, company lay-offs are just a month away, and I'm likely to be cut, overdue for some hella unemployment. You're going to have to come with me. We can't just have you walking around, especially with that silly wig."
So I did travel with Daniel out of this research facility of the sciences, placed somewhere in a place called "Oregon", he says it's a part of the land of the United States. The United States of America! The Union still stands! The Vast and Unique "machines" men had made since my time Frightened me at first but then I Realized their usefulness. Automatic carriages and "telivizions" or "TeeVees" as Daniel calls them particularly took my interest, to wit, he said, "Yeah man, I can't even imagine how boring life would be without my XBox."
I was unsure of what he meant but I agreed their utility was outstanding. I decided to chuse a way to settle my thoughts on paper, may help me make sense of this strange reality. Daniel informs me that no man uses paper anymore, they uses strange machines and type into automatic type-writers. He calls them the "Enternet", much like the printing press, but I do not understand the device that shows these changing words. Knowledgeful of the Divine and Supernatural nature of the occurances of the last week, I had these thoughts placed into a journal, which he tells me is read by others, so I will & always attempt to record the strange Happenings as I become more common with the ways of this New World.
I feel Strange in this place, and I may be Dead. But if this is death then death is a strange place indeed. I think Daniel may be right about the Time travelling, Time's hand did the world more than I could ever know.
And let it be known that I really enjoy the Chicken KaySeDeeYA by the tribe of "Teco Bell". They must be Indian with their fine shells of soft corn, a delicacy I have not yet experienced in all my years of relations to their peoples. This and the grain called "Captain Crunch" is all Daniel has fed me since my coming, although the man on the front of the box I detest, like any Bonaparte. If this is indeed the future of man then they do well by it.
It took me an evening's worth of time to record these thoughts, but I will bring more for record. This box, the "Enternet", still confuses me. Never did I see such inventions so useful in my time, short the igenuity of Mr. Whitney, who invented the cotton gin now so much used in the South. I will have Daniel "upload" this with my belongings and get some sleep for this fine evening,
your affectionate friend & humble servnt.,
Thomas Jefferson
Editor's Notes:
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