Updates for Friday, December 31st [2004]
New Year's Resolutions
Dear Friends,
It is New Year's eve, and I am fresh back home from my Christmas vacation, 5 days in the Bahamas. We visited Nassau, which I learned was once ruled by the venomous pirate Blackbeard. I had heard of Blackbeard's exploits by my grandfather Isham Randolph, he spoke of firsthand accounts from the survivors whom befriended himself and his wife the year he married her. It was interesting to see the warm beaches and almost disappointing to be back in Portland, where the skies are grey and pale, and incredible to fly using the mechanical aviations of today. The Bahamas are situated off the coast of Florida, and in less than a day I spanned across the whole of the United States, a trip that would otherwise take a man weeks or months.
Once again, at the behest of my good friend Daniel, I present a list to you, my friends, of resolutions for the New Year.
2. I shall continue to learn more and present my letter to Congress of my observances.
3. I shall, although I am poor right now, I will grant charitable donations to the relief of the tsunami disaster that recently has killed so many. I have never before heard of anything like it.
4. I will visit the Cascade Policy Institute, to perhaps serve a brief internship, or at least have a moment to deeply review their policy recommendations. After dealing with so many "Environmentalists" over the past year, this may be a refreshing alternative.
5. I will stop telling passers-by the benefits of owning a George Foreman grill. The gentlemen, Mr. Foreman, surely is comparable to the great Eli Whitney with his magnificent invention.
6. I shall write a letter to Mr. Benny Hinn divulging my philosophies of Jesus. Perhaps if I can find a copy of my old revisions of the scripture, I shall order it and mail a copy to him as well. I believe he would do his ministry a world of good.
7. I will draft and distribute a boycott against the city of Las Vegas.
8. I will write a sincere letter of appreciation to Mr. Nicholas Cage for his interesting role as Benjamin Franklin Gates in the film "National Treasure". My only Object of curiosity being the fanciful tale behind the secret war fortune, although I am assured it was a fictional story, and not one of serious historical importance. I, however, am simply glad that people still remember us enough to tell stories like this, however contrived they may appear on the great stage of the theater.
9. After my trip to the aquarium earlier this year, and then recently to the Bahamas, I have seen all matter of exotic fish, and should perhaps attempt to purchase one for myself, to keep as a pet here in my home, where I can study it. I long for the company of some animal, ever since the tragic fate of my turtle, Mr. Capitalism.
10. Looking into this matter of time travelling, I shall find out how to get home, if it is still possible.
Thank you my friends for a wonderful year, and with it's passing please accept my salutations & assurances of great esteem & respect,
- TH. Jefferson
Editor's Notes:
I tried to spice in a little bit here and there as we enter the New Year with TeeJ. The Cascade Policy Institute is an Oregon-based Libertarian think-tank, and it is most definitely worth a look, definitely one of the more prominent Libertarian groups in the U.S.
Thomas Jefferson's "The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth" is an interesting look at one man's approach to religion, and is very controversial. Jefferson appreciated the moralistic teachings of Jesus, but did not view his miracles or other profound events as anything other than charlatanism. So what he did was created a book which he felt emphasized the important points in Jesus life by copy/pasting segments of the Bible together, separating the "gold" from the "dross". Of course orthodox fundamentalists (like Benny Hinn) would be aghast at such an approach, but those who consider the Bible's teachings to be allegorical and interpretive in nature would definitely find Jefferson's version of the "Bible" interesting.
I look forward to a new year of TeeJ, and I hope perhaps by the end of next year the series can be complete and I can begin to redraft it into a full-blown novel. Thanks for reading and check back for more in 2005!
